Monday, September 9, 2013

There's a Vagina in My Bath.

I live in a house of boys. I have a husband, a toddler, a baby and a beagle. 

Boy. Boy. Boy. Boy.

And what comes with being a boy is a whole lot of general untidiness. Don't get me wrong, I love my boys. But I do not love their mess. 

I am of the strong opinion that all boys are messy. Hold on. Sorry! I know of one boy who isn't messy. Hi Mr N. 

Therefore, based on my observations, I conclude that this messy business is inherited on ones Y chromosome. The mess gene. Its there. Hiding under a cushion {with all the smelly socks} on the Y chromosome. You wait. Someone will find it. And I bet that 'someone' is a female who is fed up of tripping over boys shoes, finding smelly boy socks, and washing dirty boy cups. 

But, until that day comes, I have learnt to accept that boys will be boys and that mess is all a part of living with these boys. No use getting angry, or cross.

But, what does get me cross is when one of these boys focuses on a small mess of mine. I am no angel. I admit I can make a mess. And of recent times, my hair has been making all sorts of mess. I am malting. Losing every strand of hair from my head. Something to do with breastfeeding or post-pregnancy hormones I am informed by my lady hairdresser. 

And of course, the best place to loose all this hair is in the bath, much to Noah's dismay and fright. The poor child is convinced that the clumps of hair are out to get him and worse still, he thinks they are tiny floating vaginas. 

Tiny. Floating. Vaginas.

*laughing too much*

And so every night as he sits in his bath, I wait for him to squeal, "Marm, there's a vagina in the bath." And every night, I go in there to scoop out the floating vaginas and I wait as I am condemned by my three year old child for my untidiness. 

He shakes his head, tuts his tongue and waves his finger too. "Look at this mess Marm."

Oh, I am sorry. I reply.

"How dare I, me, the female of the house make a mess?" 

Ah, boys! Aren't they the best!

Love Jo xxx

Are your boys tidy? Or mess monsters? 

My boys!